The First Teacher Is at Home

~Mentality; confused

Sometimes, I wonder- do all parents truly understand what it means to raise a child? Giving birth is a biological process, yes, but raising a child takes emotional maturity, understanding, and a strong sense of responsibility.

But before I go ahead and say all this, I really want to mention this first: parenting is honestly one of the most powerful and beautiful things ever. It takes so much strength, love, patience, and understanding to raise a child, to shape their thoughts, emotions, and confidence from the very beginning. I genuinely have so much respect for parents who show up every single day, learning along the way, trying their best, and giving their all. They’re honestly the ones who build the future.

That said, something still needs to be talked about, the other side of it, the part where sometimes, things are not so clear. And this isn't about blaming anyone. This is just something I’ve observed, something I felt deeply, and I thought it needed to be shared.

Some parents don't know how to grow (raise) a child. And by grow, I mean nurturing, guiding, and raising with purpose. It's not just about feeding and clothing them- it’s about shaping a human being.

Raising a girl child is slightly easier in some ways. Girls often have an inner awareness, a sixth sense, and emotional intelligence that helps them understand things quicker. Research even suggests that girls develop self-control and emotional regulation earlier than boys. According to a 2020 Yale study, girls between the ages of 4–13 score higher in empathy, understanding, and managing emotions.

But boys? Boys can be a typical case. They’re often confused, more likely to suppress emotions, and harder to understand. That doesn’t mean they aren’t smart- it means they need more guidance. And sadly, many of them don’t get it. No one truly teaches them how to manage their emotions or become responsible, aware human beings.

And this is what gets missed so often: the first teacher a child ever has is their parent. Before they meet any school teacher, before they hear any life advice, they’re watching you. They're learning how to talk, how to respond, how to treat others- by watching you. What they see at home becomes their foundation. So if you don’t teach them how to love, how to speak up, how to control anger, or how to respect — where do you expect them to learn it?

Then there’s this age-old mentality: You’re married now, so you must have a child. You need to give a child to the family.

But why is no one talking about the mentality after giving birth? What next?

Some parents- and I say this gently- just don’t know what to do next. And it’s not even their fault sometimes. They were never taught either. I’ve seen in some movies and articles how, in other countries, people attend parenting classes. That idea stayed with me. These classes teach how to talk to your child, how to handle their behavior, and how to guide them emotionally. I honestly love that concept. Because why should someone be expected to know how to raise a child just because they gave birth to one?

Here’s the thing: most people think children will figure it out on their own as they grow.

But if that were true, there would be no need for teachers.

Things need to be taught. Someone has to explain, guide, correct, and support.

And when that doesn’t happen, especially with boy children, you can see the confusion in their behavior, their choices, their silence, and sometimes even in their aggression. A boy who was never taught how to express emotions will grow into a man who hides them or shows them through anger. And then we wonder why our society feels emotionally disconnected.

I’m not here to blame a parent or a guardian. I’m talking about the bigger picture- that sometimes, parents just don’t know what to do after giving birth. And still, they go on raising a child with a “let’s see how it goes” mindset.

I was honestly frustrated after seeing something live today, it just hit me so hard that I needed to say this. Because the future is built in homes. And if we don't raise children, especially boys, with attention and emotional care, we are just continuing cycles of confusion and emotional gaps.

It’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about being a present one. A conscious one. One that doesn’t just exist in the same space as the child, but one that communicates, connects, and teaches.

So please, if you ever plan to become a parent, don’t do it just because you’re married or someone expects it. Don’t do it because of society’s timeline or pressure.

Do it with awareness.

Do it with intention.

Do it because you’re ready to raise a human being, not just give birth to one.

Because a confused child grows into a confused adult.

And the world doesn’t need more confusion.

It needs clarity, compassion, and conscious parenting.

And lastly, I’m not an experienced one. I’m not a parent. I’m not here to blame or point fingers. I think I’m no one in that sense. But this is just something I saw, something I felt, something I understood in my way, and I just thought I needed to share it. That’s all. No offence to anyone, just an honest reflection.

❤️